I hope I can use that line one day
i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?
i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”
it’s not that I can’t take selfies, selfies can’t take me
"Son, stop horsing around in class."
Bromeo, oh Bromeo
I love you.. No homeo
Every Bro Ever (via frecklesandstitches)
sext: my mom can pick up if your mom can drop us off
what do you mean im still fat i did a sit up 3 years ago
Scott disick is my favorite kardashian
okay but the amount of planning that went into this vine……